What would happen if I gave all my love to another person? I mean, if I really gave ALL of my love to someone... Would he love me the way I love him? Would he treasure, value, and support me? Would he love me the way I need to be loved? Would he inspire me to be the best woman I could be?
Like insanity and Hell, vulnerability absolutely terrifies me. And, while articulating a desire to be in love and get coupled up, I have avoided vulnerability like the plague. Without the courage to be vulnerable with another (let alone, truly honest with myself), I have engaged in relationships based on fear, insecurity, and desperation. Since the mistakes of my teens and early twenties, I have been trapped in a fear that has prevented me from taking the leap and falling in love.
I look at my past and fight the feelings of guilt and regret. I have been loved, in spite of myself. I wonder what might have been if I could have accepted that love and grown to give it back. And now, I have to find the courage to live in this moment, be honest with my feelings, and create the space for a meaningful connection with another person. How do I make that happen?
No comments:
Post a Comment