Do I take your hand or let go?

I can't help but smile when I hear his voice.  I am absolutely Rock Star gorgeous when he looks at me.  When I feel him, my heart is full and I am confident that he loves me.

When I don't feel him, I grieve.  I miss him like no other.  His absence hurts my heart and fills me with anger.

Life is complex, as are most people.  I know he loves another.  When he makes choices to act, I am often the last on his list.  I have no trust or confidence in him, his words, or intentions.  But, I cannot deny that I love him.  I love him.  I love him, like I have never loved before.

For a whole host of reasons, he is not the one.  There is nothing but the here and now with him and I want more.  I want a commitment.  I want to build a life based on a partnership.  I want a home and a family.  I want to wake up next to the man I love and rest knowing that he does and will love me.

I want to believe him.  I want to hold onto him. I want to trust him.  I want to build a future with him.  But my head screams, NO! NO! NO!

Do I take his hand?  Or do I let him go?