My friend is determined to make a love connection. He has created a situation that will require communication between me and his chosen partner. We are having lunch on Wednesday and I am excited. I am afraid, however, that I won't intrigue him, that he is married or engaged, that he is gay or bisexual, that he won't be interested. I am also afraid that all of my baggage - the incomplete relationships, the in/out, the insecurity, the fear - will prevent my ability to actually get to know someone new.
Meanwhile, the lonely keeps talking...keeps me linked to men who don't care about me, who don't respect me, who don't love me. And I have to figure out how to open myself up to that which is good and eliminate all that is detrimental, eroding, painful...
I don't want anything less than the ultimate. I
want deserve absolute truth, supreme love, unspeakable joy. And I am ready to give it and live it. But I remain afraid...
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